Sunday, June 28, 2015

Dry, Sunny Sunday Morning


Good morning all. The rain that was here has now past the area and the sun is out this morning. Thank goodness because we had quite a great deal of rain in two days. I wonder where the birds and squirrels go when bad weather takes place? It's going to be a quiet Sunday. All that I have lined up for the day is watching golf and cooking dinner of course. Yesterday Al called to inform me that he and Meilin wouldn't be able to come and see. We've arranged to see each other Monday night. 

                                   ----------------------------------------------------------------


                    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



















A doctor was having an affair with his nurse who became pregnant. Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave the nurse a large sum of money and instructed her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.
"Just send me a postcard," he replied, "and write spaghetti on the back. I'll take care of all the expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months later, the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Honey, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I'll explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home and, after reading the postcard, dropped to the floor clutching his chest. Paramedics rushed him to the emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest, and the doctor's wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti -- two with sausage and meatballs; two without."


An elderly woman walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a facelift. He says "Well, we have three options. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years."
The old lady says "Well tell me about the various procedures."
The doctor says, "For $1000 I can take a few years off and smooth out your wrinkles, but you'll need to have the procedure repeated year."
"Forget that one," she says. "What about the other options?"
"For $3000," the surgeon explains, "I can do a much better job. I can take twenty years off your face, but you'll still need a touch up every three years or so."
"No, that's no good either," the woman complains. "What about the last option?"
"For $5000," the doctor replies, "you are going to get the best facelift modern medicine has to offer, with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery technology. I'll attach a screw to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, you can come back in and I'll tighten the screw."
The old lady is delighted and has the surgery, but about 6 months later she returns to the office very upset. "Doctor, I want my money back!" she cries. "I look horrible! Look at these bags under my eyes!"
The doctor leans back in his chair and says, "Lady, you aren't getting anything back. Those bags under your eyes are your breasts and if you keep messing with that screw, you're going to end up having a mustache."


Doctor Visit


One day a woman went to her doctor for her physical. After all of the routine checks and ‘female’ exam, she was given great results.
Very happy and excited, she went home to meet her husband. “How did it go?” he asked.
“Wonderful,” she said, “the doctor said I have a tight package.”
“Did he say anything about your BIG ASS?”
“Nope, he didn’t mention YOUR name the whole time I was there!!”

                                    ------------------------------------------------------------------

 









               ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Past Cruise Photos








                            Leaving the Port of Miami on my cruise on the Carnival Valor.

   A photo of the open seas. If you are frightened of water, don't take a cruise. There is no land for some time, just the ship.

                                    --------------------------------------------------------------------

That's it for today my friends. I've enjoyed writing my blog once again. I remember when I began my blog, I wasn't sure who would ever read it but I do know that I enjoyed writing it. Enjoy your Sunday my friends. 

                                                                            SEE YA.




5 comments:

  1. When is your wife coming home? Or is she already home? I hope so.

    Sorry your plans didn't work out yesterday. I'm happy the rain is gone though.

    Loved all the jokes. Especially that $5K facelift. Quit messing with that screw.

    Have a fabulous, sunny day Paul. I linked you to Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. We had rain here too today unfortunately not enough to clear the air though :-(

    LOL @ the jokes and will think of one every time I have spaghetti now LOL

    I love both the photos especially the first one :-)

    Have a tanfastic day Paul and don't do anything I would

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my gosh, I love that port of Miami photo with all the boats!

    My favorite joke today is the '2 sausage and meatballs and two without' punch line. I'm always amazed that people can be so clever thinking these things up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The jokes made me laugh, Paul. Your photos are beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Heeheehee! Fun jokes and nice thoughts and i hope you don't get rain again until you need it, and then in more measured amounts. (Deluges can be too much.)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!