Thursday, December 11, 2014

Tinsel Thursday

Good morning everyone. A very beautiful bright sunny morning but it's very cold. Last night it went down into the teens and as I write it is in the very low 20's. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. The furnace is on at 70 and I will have the fireplace on later in the day. Today, well I hope to have a phone call from ,my cousin Dan who usually calls to see if I want to go and have lunch. Later my wife & daughter will be leaving and once again I'll be by myself for awhile until they come home. Last night Mary Lou babysat at my daughter's and when she arrived home we went down and played some pool and wow, did she kick my butt. I think she's a pool hustler. 


Christmas Quote of the Day


Christmas Thursday's Funnies

Christmas Jokes

A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away." Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go, Gotta get the presents to the children, you know." The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay
for a while..."

Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know." The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay." Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know." She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...." Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, Gotta stay, Gotta stay, Can't get up the chimney with my pecker this way!!!"

Women's Christmas Wishes

Dear Father Christmas:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
He's not afraid to admit when he is wrong.
One who thinks before he speaks
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait six weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Knows just what to say when I ask: "How fat is my behind?"

One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin'
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen!
I wish that this man will love me to no end,
And would never compare me with my best girlfriend.
Thank You in advance and now I'll just wait,
For I know You will send him before it's too late. 

 ( I had Men's Christmas Wishes but it was to dirty that I even felt embarressed to put in this post. Sorry. )

The Sunday before Christmas, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering.

He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.

Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him." 


Surprise, surprise, the sun is still outside and still bight. My wife just went to get the mail and I'll be getting a fresh cup of coffee. That's it for now. Have a great Thursday my friends. See ya.

                              ( I'm sorry for this one but I had to laugh before I leave. Ho, Ho, Ho. )



  1. Good morning Paul. Lots of funnies today. Love them all and as you already know I reposted one of your jokes today.

    Hubby does know who you are because I told him so there.

    I have a surprise post on Saturday. You'll understand when you see it.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

  2. i was really laughing today paul. i texted joe about my cold and i am waiting to hear back from him if he still wants to go tomorrow night. i'll go one way or the other though. i thought it was only fair to tell him.

    smiles, bee


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