Monday, June 8, 2015

Wet But Warm Monday


It's raining again. Oh my. The lawn and the flowers are smiling but give me a break. This world is going crazy. This weekend something special took place. A horse race but not just a regular horse race. This was the third crown of racing, the Belmont race and American Pharoah which won the first two races and was hoping to win the Triple Crown which hadn't been done for many years. This horse was a special horse. American Pharoah was able to win the Triple Crown in racing . It was exciting to watch this race though I'm not a horse racing person. It was exciting just to watch.

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A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office.
She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor.
After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"
"Oh...he is breast fed!", replied the woman.
"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.
She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table.
The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.
The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says -
"No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"
The woman with a wry grin on her face responds..."Well of course I don't."
"I'm his aunt - but I'm SURE GLAD I brought him in!


A Martini for Heartburn

A woman sitting at a bar says to the barman, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her.

A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." He rolls his eyes but mixes her drink anyway and sets it down in front of her.

A few minutes later, she waves him over again and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn."

The barman looks her up and down and says, "First off, it's bartender, not barfender. Second off, it's martini, not marhini. And third, you don't have heartburn, your boob is in the ashtray." 
 
 
Rosebuds and Hanging Baskets

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with a very sheer blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate... The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."
 
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Past Cruise Photos
  











                                             Just leaving the pier of Nassau for our next port.

 
                                               A photo taken out of my balcony of the open seas.

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Well it's time to go now. It looks like that we won't be having no sun today. Have a beautiful Monday where ever you have the sun out today and as I always say............................................................

                                                                              SEE YA.




 





 

9 comments:

  1. What a scream, Paul!!! LOL! Thanks again for the laughs, the inspiration, and for your beautiful photos. :)

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    1. I'm happy to have you SCREAM Linda. See ya.

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  2. Bwahahahahahahaha on all the jokes. Loved them all.

    I'm sorry you're getting so much rain. We're so dry here and you're getting all the rain. I'll trade.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

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    1. Sandee, if I could send you some of my rain, I would. See ya.

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  3. Happy wet day to you those jokes cracked me up and well it was his own fault for wearing that tshirt LOL.

    Love those beautiful photos too

    Have a Va - Voomtastic day Paul :-)

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    1. I loved your music stevebethere today especially the one and you know which one I'm talking about. Va - Va - Voom. See ya.

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  4. I love, LOVE love that 'Why Complicate Life?' badge in your poetry corner. I may have to borrow it to base a blog entry on.

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    1. Please do Jean. I'm very happy that you loved " Why Complicate Life " Enjoy my friend. See ya.

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  5. Rain, rain go away...same here in my place.
    Anyway, I love the message of the first quote!

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Thanks for commenting!